Okay, let's be real: Halloween is one of my absolute favorite holidays. So, I'm going to embrace this holiday all month long. And to help you get into a nice creepy spirit, I thought I'd kick things off with an Addams Family film fashion blog! All right. Here we go.
Everything kicks off with a group of carolers and dichromatic color scheme. Seriously, there are a ton of them, and they're all wearing red and blue. They're such goofs. At this point, you're probably thinking, "IDK, Kat, I think you watched the wrong movie." But if you're thinking that, you're wrong. See, standing above the carolers is this family...
Granny, on the far left, looks like a cross between a goblin and a bag lady. Lurch, in the middle on the left, looks a bit like Benedict Cumberbatch, and he's wearing a nice suit that screams "I had to go to a funeral earlier today." Morticia, middle right, is gorgeous as ever with a deep-v black dress. What a gorgeous evil goddess. Then, on the far right, is Gomez. He's got a gray pinstripe suit with a huge collar and black bow tie. Most of their family is so well dressed.
Gomez has a robe made out of a carpet, and I'm 98% sure he's wearing a satin suit as pajamas.
Look! It's little Penelope! Only with a lot fewer colors. I think I used to have that sweater, though. And I think I used to have that crossbow, too.
How lovely is Morticia? I am so in envious awe of her nails and makeup. She's just entirely on point.
Okay, so, after Gomez roams around and admires his ghoulish family, he puts on his purple velvet suit, and goes golfing on his roof. One Halloween, Nash went as Willy Wonka and my mom made him a purple velvet suit jacket that was remarkably similar to this one. This shot also gives you a peak at his couch upholstery suit vest. Gomez Addams, making clothes out of household features since 1991. (That's when this movie came out. I know about the Addams Family TV show. I even know that in the TV show Fester was Morticia's brother whereas in the movie Fester is Gomez's. There you have it.)
I'm pretty useless at this blogpost. Every time I see Morticia I just kind of go... EEK SO LOVELY. For real, though. Look at this picture. Look at her, with her flared sleeves and all black ensemble. Standing there. Cutting the flowers off her flowers and just leaving the stems. She's so gorgeous.
And then these two show up. They're a couple. The Addams are the guy's client, but how? I'm not sure. Seriously. I've already watched the movie and I straight up don't know what his purpose is. They're very sketchy, the both of them, and are trying to swindle some money from the Addams Family. Mr. Sketchy probably wants to swindle the money so that he can buy a coat that isn't split down the back. Mrs. Sketchy probably wants to swindle the money so that she can afford her hairspray habit. They aren't very nice to one another, which makes them like the polar opposites of Morticia and Gomez who are wonderfully kind to one another.
Mr. Sketchy must've got his coat split down the back while sword fighting with Gomez. Do you see those fans of pointy archaic weaponry? That house is clearly not suitable for unharmed suits, and yet, Gomez and gang are always looking on point. They much just possess a quality of grace that Mr. Sketchy Split Suit lacks.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Sketchy chats with the ladies of the house to bamboozle some expensive artifact from them for a charity deal. As you can see, her two favorite things are hairspray and lipstick. She's got this radical giant bow made out of my grandmother's fancy tablecloth. She's rocking a blue, velvet skirted suit that came complete with a matching headband. Also, she's wearing a bedazzled sand dollar as a broach. And she thinks the Addams...s are strange.
Granny doesn't really want to give up anything because she likes ha--OH MY GOODNESS I JUST SAW THE FUTURE AND WHEN I'M AN OLD LADY THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT MY HAIR WILL LOOK LIKE. Sorry. I cannot continue this blogpost. I am crying.
Also that jacket/dress/thing she's wearing reminds me of orks.
GAH MORTICIA MARRY ME PLEASE. Here she is, strong shoulder silhouette on her dress, searching through body bags of storage to find something to donate. Her eye liner is impeccable. Her nails are impeccable. Her lips are impeccable. I'm just never going to say anything bad about her.
But if we're being honest she could go for a stronger eyebrow. SHUT UP SHE IS PERFECT. I don't know, I'm feeling very conflicted. Also I'm still upset about realizing the thing about the hair last picture. Let's go on.
Mr. Sketchy tries to con Mr. Addams into starting up some kind of fund in the name of his long lost brother Fester and since Gomez is super sensitive about his brother (they'd had a fight about something a long time ago and then Fester peaced out and hadn't been seen from since) he was totally about to go for it but then he said, "Even though it's a brilliant idea, it's new business, and new business must wait until next quarter."
So Mr. Sketchy is now also Mr. Grumpy because he lost the sword fight, he won't get to con Gomez out of his money for another three months, his tie is dumb and has no contrast from his shirt, and Gomez is wearing a dumb plastic green visor that clashes with his suit.
Mr. Sketchy's day goes from bad to worse when he gets back to his office and finds this woman who reminds me of a snake in a muumuu. Seriously, she is just wearing a ton of fabric. I'm pretty sure she isn't wearing real clothing. I think she's just wrapped some green and cream colored chunks of cloth around herself and called it a day. Really, it's hideous. And matches that couch too well. That's one of the reasons you know that no matter how sketchy Mr. and Mrs. Sketchy are, she's even sketchier.
She brings with her some insomniac muscle, or her son. They're loan sharks shaking down Mr. Sketchy for some cash. Mr. Sketchy recognizes that the muscle looks a lot like Fester. And since the Addams family is loaded they hatch a plan to use Fester's doppleganger to swindle the Addams fortune from the Addams family. Anyway, Not-Fester is wearing a kind of nautical sweater in the vague-ish brown color that reminds me of the unpleasant word "smear."
That evening, the Addams family throws a seance to try and speak to Fester's spirit. Mr. and Mrs. Sketchy are the only guests in attendance, and Mrs. Sketchy definitely doesn't want to be there. I mean, clearly she's had a rough day. Look how flat her hair is. Anyway, Mr. Sketchy put on his fancy buttons-galore suit for the occasion, and his bow tie is still super stupid.
What a picture. Goodness Morticia can contour, can't she? She probably did Lurch's contouring, too, she's such a gorgeous pro, I tell you, I tell you. The woman is flawless. I'm also a big fan of baby Penelope's glower. Pugsley's rocking the doofus expression and jailbird attire paired with a very 90's slight buzz cut. And Granny as always looks a bit like a troll bag lady and a bit like *sobs* my future self.
Wednesday, so school girl chic, does not trust Not-Fester's Fester story about being in the Bermuda Triangle because she knows everything about the Bermuda Triangle and Not-Fester does not.
School girl chic. That bit was fashiony. THIS IS TOTALLY A VALID BLOG SERIES FOR THIS BLOG NOW SHUT UP.
Look at this lady. Striped button down. Tie. Gray blazer. Trench coat. Plaid scarf. Horrid hair. She could be a Lemony Snicket villain.
Everybody but Gomez is suspicious of Not-Fester's claim that he is Fester. Which is exactly what School Girl Chic Penelope is explaining to baby brother Jailbird Pugsley as she executes him in an electric chair. Don't worry. He'll be okay, he's an Addams.
Gomez, however, is all too trusting. He dawns his maroon button down and black suit jacket and brings Not-Fester straight to the vault so that they can reminisce. He's a very snazzy dresser, that Gomez.
Gomez may be a snazzy dresser but he's way too trusting. While in the vault, Not-Fester pokes around for all of .2 seconds and finds all the crazy amounts of riches so that he knows right where to take his Momster and Mr. Sketchy when the rob the place.
Really, they keep this all in the vault because it's too bright and pretty to go with the rest of their decor.
So the rest of the family is really worried about Gomez. As you can see. Here are some observations from this scene:
Okay, so, after Gomez roams around and admires his ghoulish family, he puts on his purple velvet suit, and goes golfing on his roof. One Halloween, Nash went as Willy Wonka and my mom made him a purple velvet suit jacket that was remarkably similar to this one. This shot also gives you a peak at his couch upholstery suit vest. Gomez Addams, making clothes out of household features since 1991. (That's when this movie came out. I know about the Addams Family TV show. I even know that in the TV show Fester was Morticia's brother whereas in the movie Fester is Gomez's. There you have it.)
I'm pretty useless at this blogpost. Every time I see Morticia I just kind of go... EEK SO LOVELY. For real, though. Look at this picture. Look at her, with her flared sleeves and all black ensemble. Standing there. Cutting the flowers off her flowers and just leaving the stems. She's so gorgeous.
And then these two show up. They're a couple. The Addams are the guy's client, but how? I'm not sure. Seriously. I've already watched the movie and I straight up don't know what his purpose is. They're very sketchy, the both of them, and are trying to swindle some money from the Addams Family. Mr. Sketchy probably wants to swindle the money so that he can buy a coat that isn't split down the back. Mrs. Sketchy probably wants to swindle the money so that she can afford her hairspray habit. They aren't very nice to one another, which makes them like the polar opposites of Morticia and Gomez who are wonderfully kind to one another.
Mr. Sketchy must've got his coat split down the back while sword fighting with Gomez. Do you see those fans of pointy archaic weaponry? That house is clearly not suitable for unharmed suits, and yet, Gomez and gang are always looking on point. They much just possess a quality of grace that Mr. Sketchy Split Suit lacks.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Sketchy chats with the ladies of the house to bamboozle some expensive artifact from them for a charity deal. As you can see, her two favorite things are hairspray and lipstick. She's got this radical giant bow made out of my grandmother's fancy tablecloth. She's rocking a blue, velvet skirted suit that came complete with a matching headband. Also, she's wearing a bedazzled sand dollar as a broach. And she thinks the Addams...s are strange.
Granny doesn't really want to give up anything because she likes ha--OH MY GOODNESS I JUST SAW THE FUTURE AND WHEN I'M AN OLD LADY THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT MY HAIR WILL LOOK LIKE. Sorry. I cannot continue this blogpost. I am crying.
Also that jacket/dress/thing she's wearing reminds me of orks.
GAH MORTICIA MARRY ME PLEASE. Here she is, strong shoulder silhouette on her dress, searching through body bags of storage to find something to donate. Her eye liner is impeccable. Her nails are impeccable. Her lips are impeccable. I'm just never going to say anything bad about her.
But if we're being honest she could go for a stronger eyebrow. SHUT UP SHE IS PERFECT. I don't know, I'm feeling very conflicted. Also I'm still upset about realizing the thing about the hair last picture. Let's go on.
Mr. Sketchy tries to con Mr. Addams into starting up some kind of fund in the name of his long lost brother Fester and since Gomez is super sensitive about his brother (they'd had a fight about something a long time ago and then Fester peaced out and hadn't been seen from since) he was totally about to go for it but then he said, "Even though it's a brilliant idea, it's new business, and new business must wait until next quarter."
So Mr. Sketchy is now also Mr. Grumpy because he lost the sword fight, he won't get to con Gomez out of his money for another three months, his tie is dumb and has no contrast from his shirt, and Gomez is wearing a dumb plastic green visor that clashes with his suit.
Mr. Sketchy's day goes from bad to worse when he gets back to his office and finds this woman who reminds me of a snake in a muumuu. Seriously, she is just wearing a ton of fabric. I'm pretty sure she isn't wearing real clothing. I think she's just wrapped some green and cream colored chunks of cloth around herself and called it a day. Really, it's hideous. And matches that couch too well. That's one of the reasons you know that no matter how sketchy Mr. and Mrs. Sketchy are, she's even sketchier.
She brings with her some insomniac muscle, or her son. They're loan sharks shaking down Mr. Sketchy for some cash. Mr. Sketchy recognizes that the muscle looks a lot like Fester. And since the Addams family is loaded they hatch a plan to use Fester's doppleganger to swindle the Addams fortune from the Addams family. Anyway, Not-Fester is wearing a kind of nautical sweater in the vague-ish brown color that reminds me of the unpleasant word "smear."
That evening, the Addams family throws a seance to try and speak to Fester's spirit. Mr. and Mrs. Sketchy are the only guests in attendance, and Mrs. Sketchy definitely doesn't want to be there. I mean, clearly she's had a rough day. Look how flat her hair is. Anyway, Mr. Sketchy put on his fancy buttons-galore suit for the occasion, and his bow tie is still super stupid.
I made candied snails.
Gah. I'm still so upset about the future of my hair. Why did I even include this picture.
Anyway. In the middle of the seance, there's a knocking on the door. And Gomez goes-mez, "It's Fester! He's at the door!" And he runs to the door to answer it and what do you know?
He's right! Kind of. I mean, it's Not-Fester dressed up to look like Fester. He didn't even have to add makeup for this look, because he has such bad insomnia, he just has the darkest circles under his eyes, just like Fester. He did have to shave his head, though. And put on a black smock thing.
And this is clearly who Despicable Me was designed after.
This guy has clearly never been hugged before in his life.
And unfortunately he brought his momster along with him. You know how your mom has that plastic bag filled with plastic bags in the closet? Well, Not-Fester's mom ties the plastic bags from the plastic bagged filled plastic bag around her head in order to protect her hair dye from the elements.
Also, lady wears a trench coat. Don't trust women who wear trench coats and plastic bags tied around their heads.
What a picture. Goodness Morticia can contour, can't she? She probably did Lurch's contouring, too, she's such a gorgeous pro, I tell you, I tell you. The woman is flawless. I'm also a big fan of baby Penelope's glower. Pugsley's rocking the doofus expression and jailbird attire paired with a very 90's slight buzz cut. And Granny as always looks a bit like a troll bag lady and a bit like *sobs* my future self.
Wednesday, so school girl chic, does not trust Not-Fester's Fester story about being in the Bermuda Triangle because she knows everything about the Bermuda Triangle and Not-Fester does not.
School girl chic. That bit was fashiony. THIS IS TOTALLY A VALID BLOG SERIES FOR THIS BLOG NOW SHUT UP.
Look at this lady. Striped button down. Tie. Gray blazer. Trench coat. Plaid scarf. Horrid hair. She could be a Lemony Snicket villain.
Everybody but Gomez is suspicious of Not-Fester's claim that he is Fester. Which is exactly what School Girl Chic Penelope is explaining to baby brother Jailbird Pugsley as she executes him in an electric chair. Don't worry. He'll be okay, he's an Addams.
Gomez, however, is all too trusting. He dawns his maroon button down and black suit jacket and brings Not-Fester straight to the vault so that they can reminisce. He's a very snazzy dresser, that Gomez.
Gomez may be a snazzy dresser but he's way too trusting. While in the vault, Not-Fester pokes around for all of .2 seconds and finds all the crazy amounts of riches so that he knows right where to take his Momster and Mr. Sketchy when the rob the place.
Really, they keep this all in the vault because it's too bright and pretty to go with the rest of their decor.
Only Not-Fester makes too many mistakes which leads even Gomez to believe that he's, well, not Fester. Like, he can't get out of this one finger trap, and he forgets their secret word, and sleeps well throughout the night. So Gomez gets very grumpy and plays with his trains. And as we all know, a grown man cannot play with trains unless he's wearing a plum colored vest and a conductor hat. Also, I think Mr. Sketchy should get bow-tie advice from Gomez. This is the first good looking bow-tie I've seen all movie.
- Look at all those stop signs! Pugsley loves stealing stop signs and then listening to people get in car wrecks.
- Doesn't the teal bedding not really go with the rest of their look?
- Why does Pugsley have a gray polkadot pajama top? He COULD have convict-esque pajamas to go along with the rest of his wardrobe, but no.
Not-Fester, suspecting that the others are suspecting that he's not Fester, tries to break into the vault and steals the money, but since it's kind of confusing and he's not Fester he keeps just getting thrown out, instead.
So the gorgeous Morticia puts on her gorgeous cloak and takes Not-Fester on a walk through the cemetery where she, without saying it really, essentially says, "Look, Not-Fester, I suspect you're not Fester, and if that's the case we'll probably murder you because we quite like murder." She's so lovely. Ah, if only she would take me for a walk through the cemetery and vaguely threaten my life.
So Not-Fester freaks out and pleads with his momster to let him get the heck outta that house but she just lays thick the manipulative guilt and he grimly continues with their plan. This entire picture is gray. If we replaced the momster with Morticia, this would be my favorite picture ever.
So Not-Fester returns and throws himself into the Fester role, working overtime to win over the children. Here, they're all enthusiastically reading about scabs and pus. Yes, that's Wednesday's enthusiastic expression. Anyway, he also teaches them how to sword fight and helps them prep for the school play.
Not-Fester starts really liking the Addams family. So he wants to go see the kids' school play and he doesn't want to rob his new foster family any more. So the momster gets really scary abusive and slaps him and then tries to isolate him from his new friends and guilts him into skipping the play and helping steal the fortune.
So, the Addams family, sans Not-Fester, dawn their best clothes and go to the play. Gomez has a pinstriped suit that I'm pretty sure is actually something Count Olaf wears in the series The Series of Unfortunate Events. Gomez is also rocking a coat made out of a carpet. Not the same carpet coat from earlier, though. A different carpet coat. Also, look how much like a teacher that teacher looks! Seriously. Floral vest, weird grayish-green colored skirt, baggy sleeved button down, and a bow? Such a teacher.
So the first act of the school play is this. Boys in polkadot shorts, girls in tulle tutus. Pastel colors. Bad singing. Seriously. It's like a nightmare.
I'm right there with you, Gomez and Morticia. They're so bored. And she's still so flawless.
But things turn around because Not-Fester decides to show up at the play and bail on his momster. I'm so impressed with how gray this guy is. Plus, he's always rocking giant gray snuggies sewn up in the back. If that's not style, I don't know what is.
"Honey? Where are you? DID YOU LEAVE? But I already berated you into staying."
The second act of the play, is the Addams kids gore fest. Wednesday is only okay with wearing pink when she knows it'll get coated in blood. I'm not a big fan of Pugsley's shorts and tall boots combination.
And the Addams Family loved it so much. And there are like two rows who are just totally covered in blood. This was without a doubt my favorite part o f the movie.
Post-play, we find out that Not-Fester has won over the most skeptical family member. AND LOOK AT WEDNESDAY'S OCTOPUS BED. I love octopodes. I wish I had an octopus bed. Do they make octopus beds for full-sized, adult people? They should.
The momster gets found the day after the play trapped in a branch trap. Coated in branches is her best look.
The Addams family is super happy because they think Fester has returned, and Not-Fester is super happy pretending to be Fester. They celebrate by eating weird foods. In this scene, you start to wonder: perhaps the costumers spent so much of their budget on Gomez's suits that they couldn't afford a second shirt for Wednesday or Pugsley. Gomez, does, look pretty snazzy. Although, the directions of those stripes on that suit kind of irritates me. Like a slight itch between my shoulder blades. But, knowing Gomez, that's what he's go-mez-ing for. (Get it? Like going for. But gomezing for.)
Ugh. Her hair's even worse than before. And she's wearing gross poop colored leather gloves and her presence makes Not-Fester so uncomfortable that he's incapable of enjoying his fluffy muumuu despite the fact that it has an inflatable airplane neck pillow as a collar. That's because she's manipulative and awful and we all understand why Not-Fester wishes he was Fester and not Not-Fester.
The Addams family throws a proper party to celebrate Fester's return. Everyone is there and what's this? Is Gomez just wearing a regular black suit? That's crazy!
Anyway! Everyone shows up. Including Cousin Itt who is rocking the heck out of that spiderweb derby hat. So that means everyone is there except Not-Fester the guest of honor.
So Wednesday goes to fetch him but instead she finds...
Not-Fester is not Fester! This is by far the creepiest scene. I mean, that lady is wearing a weird 3/4 length sleeve and shoulder pads and that really horrible pattern that again reminds me of the oh-so-unpleasant word "smear." And she's forcing an unenthused Not-Fester to shave his head and continue swindling the Addams...s.
So Wednesday goes, like, "I knew it! I knew you were a fake!" And runs away. Then Not-Fester goes to the party and meets these two:
So many frills and feathers and so much pink. They're like a weird combination of horrifying and adorable?
Not-Fester's super into it, though. And I'm pretty sure he stole this cloak from, like, Henry VIII. Or maybe some Russian dude. It kind of looks like a combination between Henry VIII and a Russian dude, doesn't it? Or no?
When did you have time for a costume change? I didn't know you owned anything this flowy. Also, this dude has a tassel from like really old curtains roped around his hat. He clearly really likes making clothes from things that aren't clothes.
PS: don't think I missed Mr. Red Beard Unibrow in the background. He is officially my second favorite character. Right after Morticia.
DANCE WITH ME BROTHER!
Here's a thing: Not-Fester did this dance perfectly. And he caught a bunch of swords and the last one he caught in his mouth, like... he swallowed the sucker. This kind of nonsense is why the Addams are convinced that Not-Fester is not not Fester.
See what I mean? He's half got me convinced that he's not Not-Fester. Also, check out that lady in the background with the big Viking-esque braids and the haphazard assortment of fabrics dress. She's so cute. She should get with Red Beard Unibrow from a few frames ago.
Post-party, the family has to go search for Wednesday. Not-Fester stays behind to "wait and see if she returns" except in reality he's staying behind to scheme with the momster and Mr. Sketchy.
Gomez, in his carpet robe, is the one who finds Wednesday...
Asleep on a crypt. We've all been there before, am I right? I guess, technically, she's asleep in a crypt and on a sarcophagus/tomb thing. Check out her mini-Morticia dress. How adorable.
When they get home, they're all locked out of their home. According to Mr. Sketchy (who I guess is maybe a lawyer or something??) "Fester" remembered the falling out he and Gomez had all those years ago and since (as the twins told Mr. Sketchy) the house and all its belongings belong to the oldest living Addams son, Not-Fester was kicking them out.
And this judge went along with it even though Wednesday knew that Not-Fester was not Fester because he was sick of Gomez hitting his house with golf balls. Also because: old white men in positions of power, amiright or amiright?
So they move out and as you can see from that window: Not-Fester was kind of sad about it.
Now broke, the gang tries to raise money despite their lack of skills and general oddity. Wednesday and Pugsley set up a lemonade stand as children often do but they put weird things like hot sauce and arsenic in their lemonade and it kind of turns out a bust.
I've literally had this nightmare before. Also, let us all take a moment to be thankful that we're officially too old for our parents to dress us and therefore we do not have to walk around in pastel colored pants or sweaters with cotton balls sewn on them.
Morticia, lovely as ever, scares the living daylights out of those children during their storytime. I don't know who thought this woman would make a good substitute teacher for children, but they should have known better. Perhaps they could have given her a modeling gig, instead.
Even Thing pitches in by getting a job as a mail carrier. He's super good at it, too. And only a tad bit disruptive.
Gomez gets sucked into a lazyboy junkfood swamp of depression. Sigh. How we all miss his gelled back hair and three-peice suits.
Speaking of pools of depression, Not-Fester isn't so thrilled with the new arrangement, either. Of course, he's stuck hanging out with the verbally/emotionally/occasionally physically abusive momster.
Morticia goes to the house to try and get back... well, the house... and pull Gomez out of his pit of depression. She looks so classic and divine, she just shows up and stupefies Mr. Sketchy. But it's bad news and the momster tries to torture her into telling them how to get into the vault.
And Thing, who followed Morticia and knows what's up, tries to tell Gomez what's going on. And as soon as he gets his point across, Gomez is ripped from his gross-robe-cereal-eating-depression and spurred into action. After all, the love of his life, his divine wife, is in danger.
Not-Fester is not into this. He's seriously so miserable. And Morticia. Ah, Morticia. So beautiful. So graceful. So not-bothered by the pain they're inducing, but so terribly bothered by the betrayal.
Gomez, hair gel back, black button down, and a vest made out of chair upholstery, shows up and sword fights Mr. Sketchy. As per usual, he wins, but the momster brings a gun to a knife fight so Mr. Sketchy buttons-galore wins the battle. BUT HE WILL NOT WIN THE WAR.
See, Not-Fester picks a side, and he picks the Addams' side. So, right before Gomez can show them to the vault in hope of saying his (and my) beloved Morticia, Not-Fester grabs a book and lets loose...
Hurricane Irene. (I know that it's Hurricane Irene because that's what it says on the book, obviously.)
The momster and Mr. Sketchy get thrown out and fall into some conveniently open coffins.
"Are they dead?" "Does it matter?"
So then the story skips forward seven months. And wallah it's Halloween! I told you this movie was holiday-related. And not exclusively because the Addams family is creepy as all get out. This gang of kids has everything. A kid with a wig. A Captain America. Actually, that's all I can tell from this picture.
Pugsley and Wednesday both dress up for the holiday. Pugsley goes as Uncle Fester and Wednesday goes... well, kind of just as herself. I mean, technically she goes as "a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else" but we all know what she means. This dress is just like something Christina Ricci would wear in Penelope, except it's black and if it were Christina Ricci in Penelope it would be, like, purple and teal with a funky orange feathered broach. Pugsley's rocking a pretty nice robe smock thing with one of those sweet airplane neck pillow collars just like Not-Fester was rocking earlier in the movie.
Here's a question I'd like to pose for you all: As you know from my Film Fashion: Penelope blogpost, Penelope dresses up as herself for Halloween, and as we can see here, Wednesday kind of also dresses up as herself for Halloween. My question is: do you think all of Christina Ricci's characters dress up as themselves for Halloween? Casper ends on Halloween, doesn't it? What does Christina Ricci's character go as in Casper? I don't recall.
Mrs. Sketchy is no longer Mrs. Sketchy! Now she's Mrs. Cousin Itt and she's so much cooler now. I mean, she's still rocking an entire bottle of hairspray and a kind of what the heck is going on grin. Her costume's pretty cute, though. Metallic, tulle, pink, wings, wand, tiara made out of cutlery. Cousin Itt is rocking a bedazzled handkerchief. Cute couple. I mean "cute enough" couple.
I know what you're thinking: it's weird enough that Pugsley would want to be Uncle Fester for Halloween, but have they just embraced Not-Fester into the family? Or are they just in denial about Not-Fester not being Fester? Well, the answer is that he was electrocuted during Hurricane Irene pt. 2 and then he remembered (and you're never going to guess this, but...) Not-Fester was actually not Not-Fester and instead Not-Fester WAS Fester ALL ALONG. I know, crazy right. Just the kind of goofy twist you probably predicted when Not-Fester received his first hug ever in his entire lifetime.
Anyway, aren't they so cute?
And they have Lurch to immortalized the moment through visual arts. Talk about good contouring. I'm pretty sure Morticia did his makeup, but don't quote me on that.
Now there's a cute couple. And what's that Morticia is holding in her right hand? That's right. It's a onesie. Because these two crazy kids are having another crazy kid. Now let's let out a collective "Awwwe."
And, appropriately, the entire film ends with the whole Addams clan digging up corpses in their backyard graveyard.
Such a good movie, amiright or amiright? And such a stylish bunch of people. And such a lovely Morticia.
Ugh. Her hair's even worse than before. And she's wearing gross poop colored leather gloves and her presence makes Not-Fester so uncomfortable that he's incapable of enjoying his fluffy muumuu despite the fact that it has an inflatable airplane neck pillow as a collar. That's because she's manipulative and awful and we all understand why Not-Fester wishes he was Fester and not Not-Fester.
The Addams family throws a proper party to celebrate Fester's return. Everyone is there and what's this? Is Gomez just wearing a regular black suit? That's crazy!
Anyway! Everyone shows up. Including Cousin Itt who is rocking the heck out of that spiderweb derby hat. So that means everyone is there except Not-Fester the guest of honor.
So Wednesday goes to fetch him but instead she finds...
Not-Fester is not Fester! This is by far the creepiest scene. I mean, that lady is wearing a weird 3/4 length sleeve and shoulder pads and that really horrible pattern that again reminds me of the oh-so-unpleasant word "smear." And she's forcing an unenthused Not-Fester to shave his head and continue swindling the Addams...s.
So Wednesday goes, like, "I knew it! I knew you were a fake!" And runs away. Then Not-Fester goes to the party and meets these two:
So many frills and feathers and so much pink. They're like a weird combination of horrifying and adorable?
Not-Fester's super into it, though. And I'm pretty sure he stole this cloak from, like, Henry VIII. Or maybe some Russian dude. It kind of looks like a combination between Henry VIII and a Russian dude, doesn't it? Or no?
When did you have time for a costume change? I didn't know you owned anything this flowy. Also, this dude has a tassel from like really old curtains roped around his hat. He clearly really likes making clothes from things that aren't clothes.
PS: don't think I missed Mr. Red Beard Unibrow in the background. He is officially my second favorite character. Right after Morticia.
DANCE WITH ME BROTHER!
Here's a thing: Not-Fester did this dance perfectly. And he caught a bunch of swords and the last one he caught in his mouth, like... he swallowed the sucker. This kind of nonsense is why the Addams are convinced that Not-Fester is not not Fester.
See what I mean? He's half got me convinced that he's not Not-Fester. Also, check out that lady in the background with the big Viking-esque braids and the haphazard assortment of fabrics dress. She's so cute. She should get with Red Beard Unibrow from a few frames ago.
Post-party, the family has to go search for Wednesday. Not-Fester stays behind to "wait and see if she returns" except in reality he's staying behind to scheme with the momster and Mr. Sketchy.
Gomez, in his carpet robe, is the one who finds Wednesday...
Asleep on a crypt. We've all been there before, am I right? I guess, technically, she's asleep in a crypt and on a sarcophagus/tomb thing. Check out her mini-Morticia dress. How adorable.
When they get home, they're all locked out of their home. According to Mr. Sketchy (who I guess is maybe a lawyer or something??) "Fester" remembered the falling out he and Gomez had all those years ago and since (as the twins told Mr. Sketchy) the house and all its belongings belong to the oldest living Addams son, Not-Fester was kicking them out.
And this judge went along with it even though Wednesday knew that Not-Fester was not Fester because he was sick of Gomez hitting his house with golf balls. Also because: old white men in positions of power, amiright or amiright?
So they move out and as you can see from that window: Not-Fester was kind of sad about it.
Now broke, the gang tries to raise money despite their lack of skills and general oddity. Wednesday and Pugsley set up a lemonade stand as children often do but they put weird things like hot sauce and arsenic in their lemonade and it kind of turns out a bust.
I've literally had this nightmare before. Also, let us all take a moment to be thankful that we're officially too old for our parents to dress us and therefore we do not have to walk around in pastel colored pants or sweaters with cotton balls sewn on them.
Morticia, lovely as ever, scares the living daylights out of those children during their storytime. I don't know who thought this woman would make a good substitute teacher for children, but they should have known better. Perhaps they could have given her a modeling gig, instead.
Even Thing pitches in by getting a job as a mail carrier. He's super good at it, too. And only a tad bit disruptive.
Gomez gets sucked into a lazyboy junkfood swamp of depression. Sigh. How we all miss his gelled back hair and three-peice suits.
Speaking of pools of depression, Not-Fester isn't so thrilled with the new arrangement, either. Of course, he's stuck hanging out with the verbally/emotionally/occasionally physically abusive momster.
Morticia goes to the house to try and get back... well, the house... and pull Gomez out of his pit of depression. She looks so classic and divine, she just shows up and stupefies Mr. Sketchy. But it's bad news and the momster tries to torture her into telling them how to get into the vault.
And Thing, who followed Morticia and knows what's up, tries to tell Gomez what's going on. And as soon as he gets his point across, Gomez is ripped from his gross-robe-cereal-eating-depression and spurred into action. After all, the love of his life, his divine wife, is in danger.
Not-Fester is not into this. He's seriously so miserable. And Morticia. Ah, Morticia. So beautiful. So graceful. So not-bothered by the pain they're inducing, but so terribly bothered by the betrayal.
Gomez, hair gel back, black button down, and a vest made out of chair upholstery, shows up and sword fights Mr. Sketchy. As per usual, he wins, but the momster brings a gun to a knife fight so Mr. Sketchy buttons-galore wins the battle. BUT HE WILL NOT WIN THE WAR.
See, Not-Fester picks a side, and he picks the Addams' side. So, right before Gomez can show them to the vault in hope of saying his (and my) beloved Morticia, Not-Fester grabs a book and lets loose...
Hurricane Irene. (I know that it's Hurricane Irene because that's what it says on the book, obviously.)
The momster and Mr. Sketchy get thrown out and fall into some conveniently open coffins.
"Are they dead?" "Does it matter?"
So then the story skips forward seven months. And wallah it's Halloween! I told you this movie was holiday-related. And not exclusively because the Addams family is creepy as all get out. This gang of kids has everything. A kid with a wig. A Captain America. Actually, that's all I can tell from this picture.
Pugsley and Wednesday both dress up for the holiday. Pugsley goes as Uncle Fester and Wednesday goes... well, kind of just as herself. I mean, technically she goes as "a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else" but we all know what she means. This dress is just like something Christina Ricci would wear in Penelope, except it's black and if it were Christina Ricci in Penelope it would be, like, purple and teal with a funky orange feathered broach. Pugsley's rocking a pretty nice robe smock thing with one of those sweet airplane neck pillow collars just like Not-Fester was rocking earlier in the movie.
Here's a question I'd like to pose for you all: As you know from my Film Fashion: Penelope blogpost, Penelope dresses up as herself for Halloween, and as we can see here, Wednesday kind of also dresses up as herself for Halloween. My question is: do you think all of Christina Ricci's characters dress up as themselves for Halloween? Casper ends on Halloween, doesn't it? What does Christina Ricci's character go as in Casper? I don't recall.
Mrs. Sketchy is no longer Mrs. Sketchy! Now she's Mrs. Cousin Itt and she's so much cooler now. I mean, she's still rocking an entire bottle of hairspray and a kind of what the heck is going on grin. Her costume's pretty cute, though. Metallic, tulle, pink, wings, wand, tiara made out of cutlery. Cousin Itt is rocking a bedazzled handkerchief. Cute couple. I mean "cute enough" couple.
I know what you're thinking: it's weird enough that Pugsley would want to be Uncle Fester for Halloween, but have they just embraced Not-Fester into the family? Or are they just in denial about Not-Fester not being Fester? Well, the answer is that he was electrocuted during Hurricane Irene pt. 2 and then he remembered (and you're never going to guess this, but...) Not-Fester was actually not Not-Fester and instead Not-Fester WAS Fester ALL ALONG. I know, crazy right. Just the kind of goofy twist you probably predicted when Not-Fester received his first hug ever in his entire lifetime.
Anyway, aren't they so cute?
And they have Lurch to immortalized the moment through visual arts. Talk about good contouring. I'm pretty sure Morticia did his makeup, but don't quote me on that.
Now there's a cute couple. And what's that Morticia is holding in her right hand? That's right. It's a onesie. Because these two crazy kids are having another crazy kid. Now let's let out a collective "Awwwe."
And, appropriately, the entire film ends with the whole Addams clan digging up corpses in their backyard graveyard.
Such a good movie, amiright or amiright? And such a stylish bunch of people. And such a lovely Morticia.
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